In the beginning there was nothing but chaos, the wardrobe hath existed waste and void, and nought but darkness on the face of the deep pile of clothes on the floor, and the Spirit of Fashion had fled the wardrobe in despair.
And Veshoevius said, Let there be light: and there was light. And then she quickly switched the lights off again in denial of the task ahead and to procrastinate.
On the second day Veshoevius said, Let the wardrobe bring forth every item of clothing after her kind that does not fit or suit me any longer or is beyond repair so I may divide the light from the darkness. (But she held on to all the black things anyway). And Veshoevius called the discarded clothing "To be Given Away"; and the gathering together of the remainder she called the "New Wardrobe": and Veshoevius saw that it was good.
On the third day Veshoevius said, Let the wardrobe be henceforth free of every living creature and creeping thing that dare chew on my clothing and bought moth spray and repellent. And Veshoevius fumigated and laid bait for them and their future offspring, saying, Be not fruitful, and do not dare go forth and multiply in my wardrobe.
On the fourth day Veshoevius said, Let there be an additional hanging rail in the midst of the wardrobe, and let it divide the off take from what can reasonably hang on the old rail without inducing metal fatigue. And Veshoevius bought the additional hanging rail (from Argos), and created room for the new rail by moving the storage chest out of the darkness and into the light; and Veshoevius divided the clothes which were to hang on the new rail from the clothes which were to hang above the new rail: and it was so.
On the fifth day Veshoevius said, Let there be clothes arranged on the wardrobe rails to divide the colourful from the black; and let them be ordered for garment type, and for seasons, and for work days, and for leisure, and not forgetting a small section for Mr V's shirts on pain of death: and it was so.
And on the sixth day Veshoevius said, Let the belts piled randomly under the hanging rails be gathered together unto one place, and let the Ikea sorting basket appear with the belts ordered within: and it was so.
And Veshoevius saw everything that she had re-ordered in the wardrobe, and behold, it was very good.
And on the seventh day, she rested...